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mardi 13 septembre 2016

Waiting for Juncker


Strasbourg, European Parliament Headquarters
Characters: two European citizens, Estragon and Vladimir.


Estragon is trying to enter the Chamber but finds the door closed. He pulls at it with both hands, panting. He gives up, exhausted, rests, tries again.

Enter Vladimir.

ESTRAGON (Giving up again.)
Nothing to be done.

VLADIMIR
I'm starting to believe it. (Pause.)

ESTRAGON
Come on, help me off with this bloody thing.


VLADIMIR
What are you doing?

ESTRAGON
I’m trying to enter the Chamber.

VLADIMIR
Impossible.

ESTRAGON
Why?

VLADIMIR
Terrorist threat.

ESTRAGON
Bloody Europe!

VLADIMIR
There's man all over for you, blaming on Europe the faults of his country.

(Silence.)

ESTRAGON
Suppose we repented.

VLADIMIR
Repented what?

ESTRAGON
Our being united?

(Vladimir breaks into a hearty laugh which he immediately stifles, his hand pressed to his stomach, his face contorted.)

VLADIMIR
One daren't even laugh any more.

(Silence. They mark a pause.)
 

ESTRAGON
Ah! (Pause.) You're sure it was here?

VLADIMIR
What?

ESTRAGON
That we were to wait for his speech on the state of the Union.

VLADIMIR
He said at the European Parliament headquarters. (He reflects.) Do you know of other seats of the European Parliament?

ESTRAGON
(Pause.) Yes. Two.

(They mark a break, reflecting.)

VLADIMIR
Well, we're here now.

ESTRAGON
He should be here.

VLADIMIR
He said it was the last chance Commission, the Political Commission.

ESTRAGON
And if he doesn't come?

VLADIMIR
We'll come back tomorrow.

ESTRAGON
And then the day after tomorrow.

VLADIMIR
Possibly.

ESTRAGON
We came here last year, have we seen the Political Commission?

VLADIMIR
No, we have seen the “last chance Commission” last year.

ESTRAGON
Think again, we saw last year’s Commission last year.

VLADIMIR
That’s not the same Commission?

ESTRAGON
Well, I don’t know... (Angrily.) Nothing is certain when you're about.

VLADIMIR
In my opinion we were here, and we saw the “last chance Commission”.

ESTRAGON
Well? What do we do?

VLADIMIR
Don't let's do anything. It's safer. Let's wait and see what he says.

ESTRAGON
Who?

VLADIMIR
Juncker.

ESTRAGON
Good idea.

VLADIMIR
Let's wait till we know exactly how we stand.

ESTRAGON
I'm curious to hear what he has to offer. Then we'll take it or leave it.

VLADIMIR
What exactly did we ask him for?

ESTRAGON
Were you not there?

VLADIMIR
I can't have been listening.

VLADIMIR
Oh... Nothing very definite. 

ESTRAGON
A kind of prayer. 

VLADIMIR
Precisely. 

ESTRAGON
A vague supplication. 

VLADIMIR
Exactly. 
ESTRAGON
And what did he reply? 

VLADIMIR
That he'd see. 

ESTRAGON
That he couldn't promise anything. 

VLADIMIR:
That he'd have to think it over. 

ESTRAGON
In the quiet of his home. 

VLADIMIR
Consult his family. 

ESTRAGON
His friends. 

VLADIMIR
The Commissioners.

ESTRAGON
The heads of governments.

VLADIMIR
Before taking a decision. 

ESTRAGON
It's the normal thing. 

VLADIMIR
Is it not? 

ESTRAGON
I think it is. 

VLADIMIR
I think so too. 

(Silence.)

VLADIMIR
What's the matter with you? #

ESTRAGON
Nothing.

VLADIMIR
I'm going.

ESTRAGON
So am I.

VLADIMIR
Where shall we go?

ESTRAGON
Not far.

VLADIMIR
Oh yes, let's go far away from here.

ESTRAGON
We can't.

VLADIMIR
Why not?

ESTRAGON
We have to come back tomorrow.

VLADIMIR
What for?

ESTRAGON
To wait for Juncker. The Political Commission.

VLADIMIR
Ah! (Silence.) He didn't come?

ESTRAGON
No.

VLADIMIR
And now it's too late.

ESTRAGON
Yes, now it's night.

VLADIMIR
Well? Shall we go?

ESTRAGON
Yes, let's go.

(They do not move. They did not trigger Article 50.)

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